Blitz

During World War II (WWII), the Germans conducted their campaigns in short, intensive offensive attacks called blitzkrieg ... which means lightning (blitz) war (krieg) ... and yes, I know this because I watch way too much TV ... the History Channel, Discovery, The Learning Channel (TLC) and many more. (@_@)


Now why am I telling you this ... well, because I in the middle doing a blitz myself ... not war ... only lightning. Every so often, I focus all my energy on one thing ... and submerging into that one task until nothing else is notable. However, I can only last for a short amount of time ... until I burn-out. This week, I worked a total of 53.5 hours. I think I did more work during this one week than I did in the past month.

Early this week, I was a bit “moody” (a.k.a. bad mood) ... or more accurately – frustrated =( ... there is no exact cause for it ... nor do I know exactly ... it just happens ... it is part of life I guess. For the most part I back to normal =) ... but for that other little piece of me, I felt kinda gloomy ... like I’m missing something ... or someone. With all the work I did, I’m content with the result ... but I missed the excitement (you can read this from so many different point of views).

Feeling ... it is hard to describe because everyone interprets it differently. Like right now, I’m still looking for direction in life. I feel an urge to move ahead ... to take the next step because me life is too comfortable. In order for me to grow, I need to “embrace the challenge” (as someone told me once). Everyday, I keep my ears and eyes open for new opportunities ... and everyday I ask God ... “what should I do?”

Maybe I’m working so much overtime because I wanted some distraction from someone ... =P

Or maybe I wanted to finish this pain-in-the-butt project so I can leave without guilt. Less than a year ago, I wanted to leave this project ... the bureaucratic red-tapes and nature of the project was driving me up the wall. To cut through those red-tapes, I rolled up my sleeves and did most of the dirty work myself ... you may ask what is so “dirty” ... well, try crawling on all four and having your face touching coffee stained carpet ... who knows what else is on a public carpet. Ironically, after I requested a transfer back then, my boss said that since I’m doing most of the work, why not manage that part of the project. Me? ... as a manager? ... well, look at me now ... a “manager” – sure does not feel like one ... and I’m still crawling on all four ... today!!!

Anyway, as I blitz ... my five years is almost up ... so, what is next in life? (?_?)

Good Mood

Much better today ... =)

Why was I in a bad mood ... good question ... please let me know when you find out...

Here are some of my bad mood theories:
- Recovering from a burn-out - we were a bit singed these past few days
- Stress from work - did more work in these past few days than I did in the past month
- Weather - seasonal depression from lack of sun light
- Side-effect of medicine - that is why I only take meds if I (really) needed
- PMS - some say that men can get in too =P

Bad Mood

=(
... need I say more?

Will you be my friend?

Bla-bla-bla

This may not make any sense to you ... but this is my train of thoughts and it is a bit long ... so find a comfortable spot and enjoy the ride thought my mind.

I notice that sometimes, I do not make a good impression when I say good-bye ... my brain tends to go south (a.k.a. go blank) when I leave to go home or back to what I was doing. Actually, sometimes, I don’t even like to say good-bye ... instead ... I would like to say see you tomorrow or later ... because when I say good-bye, it feels like I’m coming to an end of a chapter on a book ... and that is not fun ... I want more, after a good night of sleep =)

This weekend ... I went skiing with Chica and friends ... I think it was good day. I was a bit tire ... moreover, I think everyone was a bit tire. I was actually a little bit sore the next day ... and felt like a bit drained ... I think I needed a few days to recharge ... just like my cell phone. Yea, my cell phone is getting old ... I’m going replace it soon ... once my 2 years is up.

Last night, I was sleeping in a really, really weird position ... got a stiff neck and all my joins started to pop. Now, I think I know how Chica feels when she pops... Actually, I wanted to get a massage this morning ... it's funny that I wanted one because I usually don’t like nor need one. Maybe it is one of those days that everything is out of the norm. (@_@)

Speaking of out the norm ... all the planned ski trips ended up as no go. Well, that frees up time to be spontaneous. And the weather is all warm ... feels like spring in the middle of winter. No major snow storm ... which good for most people, but I would like to see some white scenery. Someone at Church mention Canada ... that seem like a good place to find snow ... lots of snow ... and even too much snow ... that is why there is a lot underground passage ways for people to travel between malls in Canada...

Thinking of Church ... I want to put in my 10 cents and help ... and I think my skill in computer would help ... but I must take this slowly. The last time I jumped in head first, I ended up not completing what I had envision ... I needed time for my skill to grow. Further more, that is why I need to focus at work ... to finish the job and ensure the success of the project. With that in mind ... I need to find balance.

Sometimes, I think I’m too hard on myself ... I expect a lot out of me ... almost perfection. That is why I drive myself crazy when I try to follow God’s Words exactly ... I go to the extreme because I want to be perfect ... which I know I’m not ... no one is perfect except for Jesus. I still have my goal in finishing reading the whole Bible. I don’t know why, but the phrase be humble keeps ringing in my head ... to give and not take. Slowly I will get there ... or maybe the destination is not important ... it is the journey that counts. (^o^)

Give Thanks

Do you pause your busy life to give thanks ... I do ... all the time.

Thank you God for all Your blessings ... now it is my turn to give ... please guide me in what I can do...

Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift!
2 Corinthians 9:15

A new year ... a new life. =)

Chinese Broccoli

It is a bitter plant that some people do not like ... but I do. Actually, it is one of my favorite. I just had it for lunch and dinner (left over from last night, but I was not home) ... and I think I would like some more ... but I cannot have it all the time ... can I?

With that in mind ... lots of time, I do not know when to stop. That is why I need someone to let me know ... not hint ... when to hold back. Sometimes, I think I need slow down to savor the moment ... too much of a good thing can be bad ... right?

Baptized

Happy New Year everyone!!! Guess what ... I took the plunge into the water ... and now I’m officially a Christian ... thank you all that have supported me. Well, time for me to go back to my Bible reading ... I still got a lot more to go =)

Family Struggles

Warning ... this is not upbeat ... so if you are not in too great of a mood, then you may want to save this for another day.

My family ... looks great from the surface ... but if you look deeper, we are just like every other family who has problems. I have known this for a very long time ... since I’m part the family ... and maybe part of the problem? During every vacation/holiday when my family get stuck together under one roof top or in one car ... the unresolved problems naturally pop out.

We are people pleaser ... and very indecisive ... a very dangerous combo ... to the point that drives each other nuts. Everyone has their own agenda, but we bent over backward to do what other people wants. But what if everyone wants something different ... now that is a real conflict of interests. And since everyone is “so” indecisive, nothing gets done ... and we are back to square one ... frustration is what I call it.

Sometimes ... especially during vacations/holidays ... I just want to take a break ... from everything and be happy ... keep it simple ... no major decisions ... and just relax. Honestly, it scares me to take point ... to lead as the head of my family ... but it seem that is what I need to do. I did not do it this year ... but I feel the urge to ... the need to lead. Maybe it is time for me grow up ...

And moreover ... in the distant future ... when I have my own family ... I will have to take the lead ... and I’m afraid ... afraid that I may fail because I’m not strong enough. I normally don’t tell anyone this ... but I draw a lot of strength from people who are close to me. I guess it is one of God's plans ... for us to have fellowship ... to live to together as one. So, I hope to find balance...

Movie Marathon

How many movies can you watch in one day? ... At my rate ... 5 per day ... about 2 hours each = 10 hours of movies. For a long time, I stop watching the latest releases ... I usually do movie marathon every so often ... but this year, my focus has shifted ... and movie does not have the same affect on me. Read on to see why. BTW, I’m watching a movie while I’m typing this.

It is the end of the year and it is time for all of us (at least me) to reevaluate what had happen over this year ... 2005 ... and I can assure you that a lot has happened ... good and bad ... well ... more good – I have been blessed. That is why movies do not give me the same entertainment thrill as before ... now I prefer real life. I use to live a dream world ... I’m a dreamer ... and sci-fi is my favorite ... and still is, but not the same as before ... if you know what I mean.

So ... what does this all means? .... I tell you what ... it means a whole new world ... a new world that we can create together ... and live. I just hope God have something good install for us. =)

The Eve of Skiing

When it comes to skiing, I’m nuts about it ... the one sport that I try to do every chance I get. Normally, I would avoid skiing during holiday weekend because it is usual packed ... but this year, I went with my Chica and her siblings on Christmas Eve ... on a very warm day ... and it was great!!! To the contrarily of what everyone said, it was not packed ... actually, there was no lines ... and the warm weather made us sweat. The sun was out ... and most importantly, everyone was having an excellent time (^o^)

Relationship

For every relationship, there is a need to communicate... to compromise... and to care for each other. If you know me well ... then you know that I’m usually happy when others are happy. So ... even a small gesture to show that you’re happy means a lot to me.

Frog in Throat

I had another great weekend ... skiing and hanging in the city with Chica ... plus surprise dinner and gift. I was dying to spill the beans ... but I managed to hold it off ... and that was hard!!! ... lol ... especially when I usually tell her everything if anything. (^o^)

After all this excitement ... somehow a frog jumped down into my throat ... coughing and stuffy nose -> usual symptoms of a cold =( ... gotta stay home ... in bed all-day today. But, I feeling much better now ... still some dry coughs. =)