Family Struggles

Warning ... this is not upbeat ... so if you are not in too great of a mood, then you may want to save this for another day.

My family ... looks great from the surface ... but if you look deeper, we are just like every other family who has problems. I have known this for a very long time ... since I’m part the family ... and maybe part of the problem? During every vacation/holiday when my family get stuck together under one roof top or in one car ... the unresolved problems naturally pop out.

We are people pleaser ... and very indecisive ... a very dangerous combo ... to the point that drives each other nuts. Everyone has their own agenda, but we bent over backward to do what other people wants. But what if everyone wants something different ... now that is a real conflict of interests. And since everyone is “so” indecisive, nothing gets done ... and we are back to square one ... frustration is what I call it.

Sometimes ... especially during vacations/holidays ... I just want to take a break ... from everything and be happy ... keep it simple ... no major decisions ... and just relax. Honestly, it scares me to take point ... to lead as the head of my family ... but it seem that is what I need to do. I did not do it this year ... but I feel the urge to ... the need to lead. Maybe it is time for me grow up ...

And moreover ... in the distant future ... when I have my own family ... I will have to take the lead ... and I’m afraid ... afraid that I may fail because I’m not strong enough. I normally don’t tell anyone this ... but I draw a lot of strength from people who are close to me. I guess it is one of God's plans ... for us to have fellowship ... to live to together as one. So, I hope to find balance...

Movie Marathon

How many movies can you watch in one day? ... At my rate ... 5 per day ... about 2 hours each = 10 hours of movies. For a long time, I stop watching the latest releases ... I usually do movie marathon every so often ... but this year, my focus has shifted ... and movie does not have the same affect on me. Read on to see why. BTW, I’m watching a movie while I’m typing this.

It is the end of the year and it is time for all of us (at least me) to reevaluate what had happen over this year ... 2005 ... and I can assure you that a lot has happened ... good and bad ... well ... more good – I have been blessed. That is why movies do not give me the same entertainment thrill as before ... now I prefer real life. I use to live a dream world ... I’m a dreamer ... and sci-fi is my favorite ... and still is, but not the same as before ... if you know what I mean.

So ... what does this all means? .... I tell you what ... it means a whole new world ... a new world that we can create together ... and live. I just hope God have something good install for us. =)

The Eve of Skiing

When it comes to skiing, I’m nuts about it ... the one sport that I try to do every chance I get. Normally, I would avoid skiing during holiday weekend because it is usual packed ... but this year, I went with my Chica and her siblings on Christmas Eve ... on a very warm day ... and it was great!!! To the contrarily of what everyone said, it was not packed ... actually, there was no lines ... and the warm weather made us sweat. The sun was out ... and most importantly, everyone was having an excellent time (^o^)

Relationship

For every relationship, there is a need to communicate... to compromise... and to care for each other. If you know me well ... then you know that I’m usually happy when others are happy. So ... even a small gesture to show that you’re happy means a lot to me.

Frog in Throat

I had another great weekend ... skiing and hanging in the city with Chica ... plus surprise dinner and gift. I was dying to spill the beans ... but I managed to hold it off ... and that was hard!!! ... lol ... especially when I usually tell her everything if anything. (^o^)

After all this excitement ... somehow a frog jumped down into my throat ... coughing and stuffy nose -> usual symptoms of a cold =( ... gotta stay home ... in bed all-day today. But, I feeling much better now ... still some dry coughs. =)

Eureka!

I think I know why I’m so exhausted lately ... I'm burning out!!! (^o^)

I know that hanging with my Chica and staying out late can cause lack of sleep ... but that is not the problem.

Someone made me realize that I’m drained because I never stop thinking ... planning ... etc. I go to bed thinking ... then dream about skiing ... and finally wake up - continuing what I was thinking last night ... and non-stop all day ... until I go back to sleep or when I meet up with Chica.

Alright, brain of mine ... I’m going to stop thinking ... time to turn off the afterburner. I’m going to try to let things roll spontaneously ... and have faith in Him.

Expression

A great deal comes to mind ... but this is the only important thing ...

Life is short ... too short not to keep quiet ... so said what is on your mind ... and there is no time like the current moment ... especially when you love someone.

I still got a lot to learn in a short amount of time ... I pray that He blesses us with His love and continue to guide us ...

Karaoke

An excellent way to learn to read Chinese ... singing will come later. (^o^)

Everybody, Anybody, Somebody, & Nobody

By Charles Osgood

There was a most important job that needed to be done,
And no reason not to do it, there was absolutely none.
But in vital matters such as this, the thing you have to ask
Is who exactly will it be who'll carry out the task.

Anybody could have told you that Everybody knew
That this was something Somebody would surely have to do.
Nobody was unwilling. Anybody had the ability.
But Nobody believed that it was his responsibility.

It seemed to be a job that Anybody could have done.
If anybody thought he was supposed to be the one.
But since Everybody recognized that Anybody could
Everybody took for granted that Somebody would.

But Nobody told Anybody that we are aware of,
That he would be in charge of seeing it was taken care of.
And Nobody took it on himself to follow through,
And do what Everybody thought that Somebody would do.

When what Everybody needed so did not get done at all,
Everybody was complaining that Somebody dropped the ball.
Anybody then could see it was an awful crying shame,
And Everybody looked around for Somebody to blame.

Somebody should have done the job
And Everybody should have,
But in the end Nobody did
What Anybody could have.

Snow Day

I have not taken off for snow day ... not for a very long time. I feel like a kid ... home from school. =)

12 hours plus sleep ... afternoon exercise ... and completing a big chunk of the to-do list ... just what the doc order.

Once again, I can see my desk. =P

Long Day

It’s Monday ... it’s snowing outside ... and I’m so tire. I think I read some more (on Luke 11) and then hibernate for 12 hours (as suggested by my Chica). I think will feel better tomorrow after an early morning excise. =)

Oh ... I forgot to mention the movie The Miracle Box (2004) from this past weekend ... is very touching (~~>.<~~)... highly recommended (and yes, I’m a sap when it comes to kind of movie). =P

Crazy Time Management

I think I’m getting younger everyday ... I wanna have just have fun and drop all my responsibilities. However ... I got bills, rebates (from Black Friday), stuffs to fix and install, a million pet projects, hanging out with little sister, etc. ... and yet, I usually manage to do something else ...

Another crazy weekend. =)