Who am I?

Even nowadays, I learn more about myself ... you would think that after a quarter of a century, I would know everything about myself ... but I don’t. This is what I learned so far ... I’m primarily an emotionally driven person ... I do what I feel. It is a good thing or a bad thing? ... well ... it depends on how you look at it. When I’m in a bad/lazy mood, not much will get done ... but when I in a good/happy mood (^o^), I can work like there is no tomorrow. My mood can swing both way easily ... and I can easily adapt to mood of the moment, especially when there is a catalyst ... but not when I’m tire or/and when something else is on my mind. I tend to focus on one thing and drive to do my best on that one objective. Sometimes, I burn myself out just to complete a task ... if I don’t finish while it is fresh in my mind, it may never get completely done. Then again, if there is an extern force ... like another person nudging/inspiring me ... then it will get done.

I can go on and on ... but I will not. Instead, I will talk about Chica. Not only is she book smart, she is very athletic ... learning to ski exceedingly well in just 6 ski days!!! (plus 2 days from last winter). She learned to control her speed with smooth turns ... able to handle all surface conditions and recover from falling ... even jump over small bumps!

At this moment ... I miss my old friends ... the old ski days ... and just hanging around. Did I mention that my train of thoughts is a run away train? =P

Happy New Year! Again!

It is Chinese New Year ... time for big family gathering and lots of food ... and more food. Yum ...

Sunshine at the Park

I was all black this morning ... but thanks to a special someone ... there is light =)

The Will to Fly

Going down the slopes at full speed ... and then with a small hop at the right moment ... a_i_r - b_o_r_n. Now, we just need to learn to extend our wings so we may fly (^o^)

The Truth

I love this proverb ... “The Truth Shall Set You Free” ... and now, I know where it came from...

31To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, "If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. 32Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."

John 8:31-32

Cho - Cho

I am a born follower ... I have no doubt about that ... I have known since grade school.

Life is a funny thing ... as my professor once said to me ... if you have the skill to be a tech and the desire to be a tech only, life will find a way to make you into a manager ... that is what happen to him ... and it is happening to me.

Work, family and everyone close to my heart are suggesting that I should lead ... but am I a good leader? ... I don’t think so ... but I will learn. Moreover, am being inspired to be better...

Full steam ahead ... cho – cho !!!

Blitz

During World War II (WWII), the Germans conducted their campaigns in short, intensive offensive attacks called blitzkrieg ... which means lightning (blitz) war (krieg) ... and yes, I know this because I watch way too much TV ... the History Channel, Discovery, The Learning Channel (TLC) and many more. (@_@)


Now why am I telling you this ... well, because I in the middle doing a blitz myself ... not war ... only lightning. Every so often, I focus all my energy on one thing ... and submerging into that one task until nothing else is notable. However, I can only last for a short amount of time ... until I burn-out. This week, I worked a total of 53.5 hours. I think I did more work during this one week than I did in the past month.

Early this week, I was a bit “moody” (a.k.a. bad mood) ... or more accurately – frustrated =( ... there is no exact cause for it ... nor do I know exactly ... it just happens ... it is part of life I guess. For the most part I back to normal =) ... but for that other little piece of me, I felt kinda gloomy ... like I’m missing something ... or someone. With all the work I did, I’m content with the result ... but I missed the excitement (you can read this from so many different point of views).

Feeling ... it is hard to describe because everyone interprets it differently. Like right now, I’m still looking for direction in life. I feel an urge to move ahead ... to take the next step because me life is too comfortable. In order for me to grow, I need to “embrace the challenge” (as someone told me once). Everyday, I keep my ears and eyes open for new opportunities ... and everyday I ask God ... “what should I do?”

Maybe I’m working so much overtime because I wanted some distraction from someone ... =P

Or maybe I wanted to finish this pain-in-the-butt project so I can leave without guilt. Less than a year ago, I wanted to leave this project ... the bureaucratic red-tapes and nature of the project was driving me up the wall. To cut through those red-tapes, I rolled up my sleeves and did most of the dirty work myself ... you may ask what is so “dirty” ... well, try crawling on all four and having your face touching coffee stained carpet ... who knows what else is on a public carpet. Ironically, after I requested a transfer back then, my boss said that since I’m doing most of the work, why not manage that part of the project. Me? ... as a manager? ... well, look at me now ... a “manager” – sure does not feel like one ... and I’m still crawling on all four ... today!!!

Anyway, as I blitz ... my five years is almost up ... so, what is next in life? (?_?)

Good Mood

Much better today ... =)

Why was I in a bad mood ... good question ... please let me know when you find out...

Here are some of my bad mood theories:
- Recovering from a burn-out - we were a bit singed these past few days
- Stress from work - did more work in these past few days than I did in the past month
- Weather - seasonal depression from lack of sun light
- Side-effect of medicine - that is why I only take meds if I (really) needed
- PMS - some say that men can get in too =P

Bad Mood

=(
... need I say more?

Will you be my friend?

Bla-bla-bla

This may not make any sense to you ... but this is my train of thoughts and it is a bit long ... so find a comfortable spot and enjoy the ride thought my mind.

I notice that sometimes, I do not make a good impression when I say good-bye ... my brain tends to go south (a.k.a. go blank) when I leave to go home or back to what I was doing. Actually, sometimes, I don’t even like to say good-bye ... instead ... I would like to say see you tomorrow or later ... because when I say good-bye, it feels like I’m coming to an end of a chapter on a book ... and that is not fun ... I want more, after a good night of sleep =)

This weekend ... I went skiing with Chica and friends ... I think it was good day. I was a bit tire ... moreover, I think everyone was a bit tire. I was actually a little bit sore the next day ... and felt like a bit drained ... I think I needed a few days to recharge ... just like my cell phone. Yea, my cell phone is getting old ... I’m going replace it soon ... once my 2 years is up.

Last night, I was sleeping in a really, really weird position ... got a stiff neck and all my joins started to pop. Now, I think I know how Chica feels when she pops... Actually, I wanted to get a massage this morning ... it's funny that I wanted one because I usually don’t like nor need one. Maybe it is one of those days that everything is out of the norm. (@_@)

Speaking of out the norm ... all the planned ski trips ended up as no go. Well, that frees up time to be spontaneous. And the weather is all warm ... feels like spring in the middle of winter. No major snow storm ... which good for most people, but I would like to see some white scenery. Someone at Church mention Canada ... that seem like a good place to find snow ... lots of snow ... and even too much snow ... that is why there is a lot underground passage ways for people to travel between malls in Canada...

Thinking of Church ... I want to put in my 10 cents and help ... and I think my skill in computer would help ... but I must take this slowly. The last time I jumped in head first, I ended up not completing what I had envision ... I needed time for my skill to grow. Further more, that is why I need to focus at work ... to finish the job and ensure the success of the project. With that in mind ... I need to find balance.

Sometimes, I think I’m too hard on myself ... I expect a lot out of me ... almost perfection. That is why I drive myself crazy when I try to follow God’s Words exactly ... I go to the extreme because I want to be perfect ... which I know I’m not ... no one is perfect except for Jesus. I still have my goal in finishing reading the whole Bible. I don’t know why, but the phrase be humble keeps ringing in my head ... to give and not take. Slowly I will get there ... or maybe the destination is not important ... it is the journey that counts. (^o^)

Give Thanks

Do you pause your busy life to give thanks ... I do ... all the time.

Thank you God for all Your blessings ... now it is my turn to give ... please guide me in what I can do...

Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift!
2 Corinthians 9:15

A new year ... a new life. =)

Chinese Broccoli

It is a bitter plant that some people do not like ... but I do. Actually, it is one of my favorite. I just had it for lunch and dinner (left over from last night, but I was not home) ... and I think I would like some more ... but I cannot have it all the time ... can I?

With that in mind ... lots of time, I do not know when to stop. That is why I need someone to let me know ... not hint ... when to hold back. Sometimes, I think I need slow down to savor the moment ... too much of a good thing can be bad ... right?

Baptized

Happy New Year everyone!!! Guess what ... I took the plunge into the water ... and now I’m officially a Christian ... thank you all that have supported me. Well, time for me to go back to my Bible reading ... I still got a lot more to go =)